Large groups (actually any more than 2) of women scare the bejesus out of me.
I’m fine one-on-one. Will happily chat to anybody but any more than that and I fill with panic!
The thought of attending a coffee group with my babies was terrifying, I even attempted a baby shower on the weekend and completely freaked out and the thought of ever being a bridesmaid (I even turned my own sister down) is more than I can handle.
At my husband’s encouragement, I always attempt to blend in when invited to so-called female heavy events, mold with the crowd and be like all the other women but I’m like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole.
No matter what I do It simply doesn’t work.
I enter the room, scan it quickly for a place to sit that’s away from the others, caressing my large glass of wine and thinking simultaneously “I really hope someone will come and chat with me/I really hope nobody comes and sits with me and I can drink my wine chatting to no-one”.
I panic, drink too much wine too fast, simply nodding and smiling where it seems appropriate. However due to the quick consumption of alcohol I find myself saying the completely wrong thing such as “Your ex-husband is a douche!” (wasn’t my finest moment at the baby shower) or lying about what I do for a job so I’m not stuck discussing Miss Lolo or one of my inappropriate blogs that their friend didn’t appreciate. I feel the eyes of the pack on me as if I’m a wolf in sheep’s clothing …. I glance around the room and see all the others happily laughing and chatting away thinking how the hell do you do that!?
Seriously how the hell do women have a pack of girlfriends? It’s always stumped me. I’ve always been the gal with one or two equally as socially awkward friends who simply got together, smashed a bottle (or three) of wine and chatted about anything not related to our children.
Am I weird? Or do other women feel this way too?